santidevi

I end the fast at 34 days.  I break it in a time honored tradition, with the eating of prasad {blessed food}. It is taken after satsang with Swami Dharmakeerthi, one of my beloved teachers from India. In the moment that I break the fast I observe the ego’s attachment to fulfilling the 40 days. [...]

Day 21

The immortal Self has claimed me… I Am home. I need look no further for my belonging. I am an embryo in the womb of creation. Fed by spirit. The imbilius is connected to the very source of my being. I am incubating.

I am half way through my 40 day [...]

It is Tuesday morning, the sky is azure blue and the air is crisp with autumn.  I fall into a slow, natural rhythm. My body adjusts to the pranic energy that now nourishes it. This subtle and refined sustenance is like nectar from the Gods. I sleep so soundly, so deeply. I am conscious [...]

It is day 14, and my belly rumbles. I feel the gravity of my own weight, and the stillness that suspends me. A paradox. My mind is nebulous. The solidity evaporates.
Not a moment escapes me. The world has gone adrift, continents away from the air I breathe. Strange how even the most familiar objects [...]

My mind is syphoned into the moment. It rests where I Am, undisturbed. The quiet has become a constant. I am aware of the weight of air, its caress penetrating beyond my thin skin… it seems to reach into my interior, a spiraling breath.  It is day 12.  I wonder at this body that becomes [...]

I am filled with a holy emptiness, fed by the unseen.  The hunger of my belly wanes. It is day 9, and I slept at last, all night.  In meditation the practice reveals itself. Inhaling the suffering and pain in the world, exhaling love and compassion.  Breathe in, breathe out. The observer, my sentinel [...]