It is day 14, and my belly rumbles. I feel the gravity of my own weight, and the stillness that suspends me. A paradox. My mind is nebulous. The solidity evaporates.

Not a moment escapes me. The world has gone adrift, continents away from the air I breathe. Strange how even the most familiar objects and places seem foreign. My perceptual lens shifts. The simple becomes ever more sublime. I see through the physical into the complexity of relationship that binds us one to the other, our mortal bodies not as separate entities but as a singular expression of unity. This is my experience, vision, and what I know to be true. We are all One. In this body, heaven, and earth, find their home.

I have always felt the briefness of my own life.  The transiency of my body on this earth. This awareness has compelled me, from birth, to discover the inherent meaning and purpose of being human. This quest was only furthered by the trauma and suffering I experienced as a child. I knew that those initiatory conditions, though painful, were awakening a great compassion, a fearlessness and strength. In enduring, I found that I was resilient, in surrendering I found grace. No matter what happened to me, there was an aspect of who I was, that was incorruptible. The innocence of my being could not be destroyed. The greatness of my soul was determined to rise, to take complete possession of my worldly life.

Suffering has been a portal to my destiny. It has distilled the truth from the marrow of my bones, extracted the finest of my human qualities, and resurrected a Self that could commit to serving human beings in their darkest hours. Had it not been for the losses I experienced so early on in my life I may never have become who I Am. The truth is that I am an immortal and divine being, embodied. I was a born a bodhisattva into a world of despair. I have but one purpose for my existence, and that is to be an accessible source of redeeming peace. The divine has carried me to the most unlikely of places to be a refuge, to protect the helpless, to heal the sick, to comfort the dying, to usher in new life. In these moments I feel the presence of the numinous, my own inextinguishable light.

Every soul longs to feel their noble birth, to ascend to the greatness of their nature. It is our sole purpose to do so. Through Self- realization we express the deepest aspects of our true nature. Our innate wisdom, goodness and compassion become the wellspring of our experience. These virtues are rooted in our humanity, and meant to be intrinsic to our lives.

I awaken each and every moment to what is real within myself, to the unconditional peace and happiness that illuminates my heart, and defies all circumstance… that leads me to the very Source of life.

santidevi